The Search for Happiness
If there is one thing we all have in common as human beings it is the search for happiness. Not only do we seek joy out, but we strive to maintain it in our lives. It’s not easy. Happiness comes and goes.
What could you do to feel happier? Our answer often involves changing our circumstances. “Most of the circumstantial changes you could make aren’t going to affect your happiness that much.”
We have the procedures of achievement upside down. Typically we come up with our to-do lists, our bucket lists, and our strategic plans - all the stuff we want to have, get, accomplish, and experience outside of ourselves. All of those aspirations are driven by an innate desire to feel a certain way. And most likely that way is to feel good.
Knowing how you actually want to feel is the most potent form of clarity that you can have. Generating those feelings is the most powerfully creative thing you can do with your life.
Instead of thinking of external goals, think about how you want to feel in various parts of your life. Think of positive feelings that you want to feel.
“If you begin to understand what you are without trying to change, then what you are undergoes a transformation.” - Danielle LaPorte, The Desire Map.
What are the first few feelings that come to mind?
Think about something you enjoy. What is the feeling that comes from that activity?
Relaxed
Energized
Inspired
Happy
Fulfilled
Content
Cozy
Thoughtful
Get clear on how you actually want to feel. Instead of thinking by doing x or having x that will result in that feeling. Instead, focus on the feeling first.
Do you want to be healthier? To have more love in your life?
What does that mean to you? What does that look like? What does that feel like?
When you find the words that define your core desired feelings you can start to live authentically from that starting point.
“Your life is your art. When you make choices in favor of your soul, you’re making a masterpiece out of your existence.”
Exercise, get enough sleep, meditate, and keep a gratitude journal. These are some practices to create a happy mindset.
Take an evidence-based approach. You should try it for yourself, do the experiment on yourself, see what works, and non-judgmentally use more of what seems to be going well for you. And that’s fine if not all of the practices work.
The foundation of a good relationship with intentions and goals is keeping in mind that the primary aim of setting and working toward them is to feel the way you want to feel.
The external things we want to have, do, and experience is secondary goals, all of which get back to the whole point: experiencing your core desired feelings.
Make way for new dreams to come alive. Focus on the feeling first and let that lead you to search from within instead of from without.