Stress-Detox

Stress is inevitable and is bound to show up in our lives in one way or another. It’s likely you will experience the effects of stress from time to time, but when the stress levels begin to build and happen on a regular basis it’s time to identify the causes of the stressors.

There are different types of stress and everyone reacts differently. It could be as simple as starting at your toddler as they go into a melt-down because they didn’t get what they want or bouncing from email to email at work with a ton on your to-do list, it can even be a confrontation with a spouse, family member, or friend.

Notice the feeling that is created in your body when you experience stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline. Think back to a time when you were the most stressed. What was happening? What thoughts were you having? What did it feel like in your body?

When we can start to notice the cues our body sends us through stress signals and identify what that feeling is we can start to observe the causes of the stress.

Digital Detox

Perhaps, you find it overwhelming scrolling through social media and the constant comparison. You feel an irritation in your body, your heart starts pumping faster, and you feel your breath is shorter than normal. These are physical symptoms appearing from the source. There is a physical reaction happening. An easy way to negate this feeling is to cut off the source. For example, stop scrolling through social media. Give yourself a digital detox and in return, you will find a stress detox.

Work-Related Stress

Let’s examine another cause of stress – work-related stress. Now, as much as we would like to take short work weeks and more vacations, most of us need to work for a living. But there are ways to handle the stress when it arrives on your desk. By practicing certain breathing methods, mindfulness, and strengthening your meditation habit you will begin to find yourself less reactive and flooded with overwhelming thoughts that activate your stress response. Try to get down to the detail of what is causing the irritation, overwhelm, or anxiety. Do you find yourself feeling tired and exhausted because you didn’t sleep well? Are you working without taking breaks? Are you drinking too much coffee? What is your mindset like? Do you tend to look at things overly optimistically or be skewed by the negative perception of life? Find what you can remove, change, or alter in some way. By noticing the contributing factors that lead to work-related stress you may be able to make minor adjustments to improve your day-to-day job.

 Let the Stress Out

Yin-Yoga is a wonderful way to release built-up emotions that are stored in the body, supine twists will help release toxins by massaging the internal organs, and hip-opening poses like pigeon or frog will get into those much-needed areas of release. Try practicing before you go to bed and when you first wake up.

Deep Breathing

When we are stressed we tend to hold our breath, taking short, shallow breaths with a decreased exhale. In order to activate the parasympathetic nervous system that turns on our relaxation response deep breathing needs to become prominent. Start by taking a breath in for a count of 4. Holding for a count of 2. And then exhaling for a count of 6-8. By lengthening the exhale repeatedly you will naturally find more ease in the body and mind. Breathing deeply is a wonderful way to release the stress hormones that build in the body such as cortisol and adrenaline.

Get a good night’s sleep

Researchers have shown sleep increases brain function and the ability to problem-solve. It is important to have a good quality night's sleep of at least 7-8 hours in order to feel your best. Life becomes more stressful when you are tired and can’t think straight. This can also have a profound effect on the other areas of your life – helping you make healthy choices and be more aware.

Journal + Gratitude

Writing your thoughts out is a well-known way to release stress. Often, thoughts circulate in the mind. Continuously finding a loop and creating challenges of resolving the issue that is causing you stress. Get out a pen and paper or write in a digital journal and get all of your feelings out. A term called “rage-on-the-page” gives the writer 10 minutes of free time to just write whatever comes out when you are experiencing a deep-felt emotion. As you write imagine releasing the emotion. You don’t have to go back and read it unless later on you would like to examine your feelings and dive deeper. Follow up your journal writing with a gratitude reflection in order to bring positivity back into your mind. Journaling is a great way to vent and gratitude is a great way to nourish yourself from within.

Clear your mind

Take a break from what you are doing. If you find yourself feeling frustrated with something it might be time to remove yourself from the situation. Find a different perspective. If you find yourself feeling critical or overthinking – clear your mind. Immerse yourself in the experience of meditation, do some yin-yoga, go for a walk, or try painting.

Free your mind from whatever it is circling around. Find freedom, make space, and allow yourself to find the clarity you are searching for. Take as much time as you need, walk away, stop what you are doing, and let go just for now. The best way to clear your mind is to clear yourself from the space your mind was occupying.

Enjoy what you have when you have it

When your mind is in a constant state of past or future thoughts it’s difficult to live moment to moment. When you are unable to live in the moment how can you truly appreciate, find gratitude, or enjoy what you have when you have it?

 It’s important to take time to notice – immerse yourself in the moment and look at all you have accomplished. Where are you now that you once dreamed you would be? Are you always looking towards the future hoping your life will be better, have more, and accomplish all that you can? When X marks the spot, but the X is in constant motion ahead, how can you ever maintain that sense of bliss? Allow yourself to relax into the moment with full awareness and gratitude.

Practice:

Think about what you have right here and now.

What do you enjoy about your life?

What fills you up and makes you feel content?

Do you feel you are in constant searching or longing for happiness but can’t ever achieve it?

Sometimes we look back in hindsight when we reflect on the past and think – wow, I really didn’t have it that bad. I wish I spent more time being grateful or enjoying it instead of wanting more or wishing things to be different.

One thing is for sure – this life comes and it goes. How will you spend your time and energy? Will your energy waste away with the constant search for more? Will you always regret things from the past? Or will you live life simply enjoying each moment as it arises? Accepting it for all it is and going forward with enjoyment and contentment.

Get to know your body

Much of our life experience we are focused on thoughts and external factors. Memories of the past, situations in the present, and dreaming of the future. How much of that time are we spending getting to know our bodies from the inside? Becoming more in tune with how we are feeling versus thinking? Can you sense your energy level at this moment? Are you tired? Hungry? Or perhaps, in need of rest and relaxation? Are you feeling healthy and nourished or do you feel weak and have areas of pain in your body?

Spend some time in meditation simply observing the sensations that arise. Breathing in taking in fresh energy and breathing out releasing tension stored.

 Do a body scan from head to toe and pause when you sense an area that doesn’t feel right. If you feel good from within continue to breathe naturally. If you feel uncomfortable then stay with your breath pattern taking long full inhales in and out.  

The more you tune in to your body, the more you will notice subtle changes. Allow this awareness to bring you deeper within. The more you get to know your body the more you will find balance and be able to harness the creative energies.

Just Be

We are human “beings” not human “doings”. Can you tune into each moment of your life and just be with it? Removing the need to force, change things, or hurry to cross them of your to-do list? Can you float through your day in calmness and celebration at the miracle of life before you?

 Contemplate this thought:

Can I allow myself to just be?

What are the thoughts that arise when you think of this phrase – Just Be?

What comes to mind?

Do you find it difficult or challenging in any way to live entirely in the moment without fixating on a particular aspect?

Through the practice of meditation, we can train ourselves to sit in silence, release what comes and goes, just rest in this awareness. The more we slip into those quiet places the more we can find contentment and peace.

Set your intention one morning to simply Just Be. See what happens as the day unfolds. This shift in focus, the calming, the settling, the inner stillness; this is what it means to just be. As your day arises and subsides. Go with it. Let it be.

Have some fun

Think about what you enjoy doing for fun. We live in a world driven by productivity, feeling that each moment must be met with producing results. When life becomes all work and no play, we forget to make the most of our day. Some days you may cross off more on your to-do list than others. You may get everything done, but if you weren’t having fun along the way, then what was the point? It’s nice to have structure in life, and at the same time it’s also pleasantly joyful to break free from routine. Fun looks different on everyone. The best way to approach fun is to think about what makes you happy, lights you up, and brings you joy. In the long run you may end up enjoying yourself!

Change it up

When the new year is on the horizon suddenly thoughts come into mind about how this year can be different. Only months later do we find ourselves back into the same routines. Maybe there is a reason we always revert back to these patterns, and they are called habits. One of the ways to alter your life is to simply change it up. Start with small changes and over time you may see big differences. So often we spend time thinking about what we want to let go of. What about what we want to cling to. What we enjoy in our lives and want more of. What makes us truly happy and want to spend more time doing.

Exercise:

• Write down 3 things you want to change or focus on.

• What are 3 things you want to cling to in 2022?

 Now ask yourself how can I take this goal/focus/desire/intention/resolution (you name it) and break it up into tiny, tiny, little chunks?

• How can I make a very small change NOW?

• What would that change be?

Take for example the intention of wanting to write a book. It may seem like a daunting task if you don’t know where to start, but if you focused on that intention every single day for 365 days, even if only for 5-10 minutes per day, you might be able to write a draft of a book.

 Maybe you want to learn to paint but feel you never have the time. What if you carved out a tiny fragment of your day and spent time either learning or practicing? I bet if you did it every day you could create something beautiful.

What if you wanted to exercise more? Take a short walk for 10 minutes first thing in the morning. Go around your block, find a small loop, whatever it is just get moving. Those 10 minutes will add up over time.

Meditation is another great example. Set a timer and find time in your day to meditate for 5 minutes. See how you feel and do it again the next day, and the day after, every day. Commit to yourself.

It’s the small changes that we make that can engrave lifelong habits. You just need to start somewhere. You need to fit it in whether you think you have time or not. Make time. Find 5 small minutes a day.

When we begin to add things into our day, commit to these small changes, we can build on from there. You might resist it at first, but first, get yourself going. Over time – approximately 6 weeks you will start to build a habit. That’s how long experts say it takes for your brain to create a habit.

Pick something you know you either love, brings you joy, or is good for you. The reason behind your intention will propel you to make the necessary steps to accomplish each tiny task, every single day.

You may even find after the 6-week period that you are becoming more relaxed in that habit, you want to do more, you find your flow. Let that become natural. When we take the force out of our intentions and let them flow we may find ourselves putting in way more time than we thought we could or would.

So ask yourself – what do I really want to accomplish in 2022? Is it more time for rest, time with family, eating healthier foods, or perhaps, listening to more music? Ask yourself and you shall find the answer. Take 5 small minutes out of your day and do it each day after that. Eventually, your intentions will lead you to a state of flow.

Softening

Anger hardens you and prevents you from seeing things clearly, disrupting the flow of life. Creating tension in the body and weakening your immune system. Anger builds walls that eventually you need to tear down. For these walls only trap in your pain. You think the suffering is just; the anger lets you feel that way. The trapped pain in your body leads to illnesses, diseases, more stress, and anxiety. The person suffering is not the one you are directing your anger towards; instead, it is yourself.

Anger is often an impulse. It stems from emotions or a lack of control over them. Anger is the result of being unable to control your vulnerabilities, such as fear, sadness, and loss. These emotions create discomfort in the body, and we don’t know where to place them; a subconscious way of shifting that attention makes you feel in control. Think back to a time when you were angry. Your body stiffened, your muscles tightened, your body pumped out stress hormones such as cortisol and adrenaline. In a sense, you created a body rigid and without flow. 

Imagine if you replaced anger with softening. Leaning into your vulnerabilities. Find strength and courage in the unknown and uncomfortable feelings you may experience. Softening is about allowing things to be. Easing into the person you are, loosening up, letting go, relaxing, and going with the flow. 

Softening is an art form. A way of life. It requires patience. Tenderness. Care. Above all – love for yourself, loved ones, those around you, the community, the earth, the good, and the bad. It’s all-encompassing. Softening is a state of calm, allowing and accepting things to be just as they are. You ease your body, and in return, your mind quiets here too. 

Breath by breath; you can get there. Open your mind to how you can soften. 

Make time for rest

We all live busy lives. Understandably, it’s easy to get caught up with the day-to-day tasks. By the end of the night, you may feel defeated if you haven’t checked off all of your to-do’s. Even with the best time management skills, you may never feel you have enough time to accomplish everything. This is your permission slip to allow yourself time to rest. Even if it means you carve out 1 hour at the end of the day to do nothing. Relax, put your feet up, enjoy a cup of hot cocoa, watch a good movie, or have a pleasant conversation with friends; the time is yours.

When we make time for rest, we allow ourselves the opportunity to reset. Some may feel rest is unproductive. This is because there are too many things that need to be done. The truth of the matter is, carving out just a bit of time for rest can increase productivity because you give yourself a reboot of energy.

Where your attention goes your energy flows

Judgment blocks the flow of creativity and inspiration. Thoughts are everything. They determine what you focus on at any given time. Flow is a state we aim to move towards and once we arrive, the full effects of the Universe can be felt. This connection to source allows the mind to be in a creative and inspired state. What hinders the ability to stay in this state are the detrimental effects of the mind when it allows negativity and judgmental thoughts to arise. The power to change your thoughts is within you. It takes practice and awareness but is very possible. Once you can master this skill you will find yourself more at peace and feel the calmness within.

Start by practicing for a few moments a day - breathing in and breathing out and just witnessing the thoughts that arise. Without judgment just see them as they are and let them come and go. Imagine you are sitting by the ocean side, as you look out at the expansive sea in front of you ahead you see a sailboat passing on the shores. You watch it until it disappears. Let the sailboats represent your thoughts - watch them as they come in and watch them as they go out.

When we cling to thoughts, we create friction and tension in the body, and a heaviness in the mind. The need to control these thoughts can increase your anxiety, but the more you try the harder it may feel to let them go. The process of meditation is to move into a state of allowing. Loosening your grip bit by bit with every breath anchoring you into the here and now.

Whenever you feel your attention drifting into a dark corner gently bring it back to the present moment. Allow your attention to be absorbed in the thoughts you want to see. More sunshine, more sailboats. The more you move into a state of flow the energy will drift you off into a peaceful sunset. If you allow yourself to hold on to these sailboats with frustration you may end up crashing upon the rocks.

How to remain calm in a stressful situation

Thought alone can trigger the stress response. The mind easily wanders. It can bring you to thoughts of joy that make you feel excited about life and can bring you to tears with a simple flash back of a painful memory. Through all of life’s ups and downs there are sure to be challenges in the long road ahead. It’s not what happens to you, but how you react that makes all of the difference. This reaction is brought forth from an internal place – it all begins with your thoughts in the mind. It’s easier said than done to relax. Relaxation can take years to master.

By incorporating mind-body practices such as yoga and meditation throughout your day you can practice reacting to stressful situations. For example – when you are in an uncomfortable balance posture and feel you are about to tip out – you can center yourself and focus on your breathing. Allowing those distracting thoughts to fade to the background as you focus on the present moment. Right here – in this moment you are practicing how to become an observer of the self.

Calmness is a sense you feel not only in the body but also in the mind. Think of a still lake that is without ripples, you can clearly see the moon’s reflection in the night. If one little pebble is cast upon that like it can distort the moon’s reflection. Think of your thoughts as pebbles, they can easily disturb the calmness of the mind. The stress response is activated often by the thoughts alone we think for it triggers an emotional reaction which creates a physical reaction.

The next time you find yourself in a stressful situation and you wish to remain calm – go to that place within you where you find stillness. Allow your senses to tune inwards as you focus on your natural breath. Feel your heart beating and practice deep breathing to soften around the edges. In time you may find it gets easier and easier as you release the emotional impulse to react and instead find calmness by just listening, observing, and paying attention to the world around you.

How to RELAX

It seems simple enough to relax. However, this is one challenge that plagues society today. We are inundated with updates from the media through our ever-changing technology. Lives aren’t as simple as they used to be. Due to the constant flow of information and feeling we need to always be “on” - in return our stress response is always on. A group of people were asked what activities they did to relax, and several people mentioned sleep and exercise. Everyone has their own way to release stress. It could be as simple as going for a hike or a run, a nap to power down for a bit, or spending fun times with friends or family. There isn’t one quick solution for everyone. The truth of the matter is you need to test what works for you and once you find it do it more often. We all need to relax a bit more. Take it easy and go with the flow. Even if you like to solve problems the mind will always come up with another challenge to resolve. If you are someone who doesn’t “have time” to relax then schedule it into your day. Take 15 minutes to unwind. However, that looks to you. Whatever that feels like in your body.

Exercise: 

Think of the last time you truly relaxed. What did that feel like in your body? How calm did your mind feel? Can you find a way to replicate that scenario? You may find the ocean very calming and relaxing but live hours from the beach – how can you bring the beach to you? You could listen to ocean waves through your headphones. Find ways to incorporate more relaxation into your day.

Reset from your Workweek

Friday evening comes along, and you find yourself ending your work week. If only it was easy enough to “shut-off” and relax. Depending on your position or the amount of work you do it can be difficult to shut down the ‘monkey mind’. You may have racing thoughts or perhaps you feel dazed and under a cloud. If you sit at a desk all day you may be experiencing stiffness or tightness in your back, shoulders, neck or even have a headache. Brain fog occurs when the mind is not clear. If you stare at a computer all day you might be experiencing eyestrain, fatigue, or even symptoms of burn-out.

 Ask yourself a few questions:

• Am I getting enough sleep per night?

• Do I nourish my body with healthy foods during the day?

• Is there enough time for rest and relaxation during my breaks?

It’s not always easy to power-down the way you do your computer. The mind is active and likes to revisit events from the past or plan for future scenarios. When the weekend rolls along do your best to reset from your workweek. Take things slowly. Absorb each moment.  

Perhaps on a Friday night you soak in a warm tub with candles, magnesium salts, and a calming tea while you read your favorite book. Even if you only take 20 minutes to give yourself back some tender care and love it can be a lovely way to segment your work week from your weekend. As you take a calming bath imagine you are soaking away your tension from the day. As you get out of the bath imagine leaving your workday behind.

 We live in a society that is built on doing more to accomplish more. Studies have found that when you take breaks and give yourself a reset such as enjoying a weekend or time off you return to work more productive. In this sense do less to accomplish more.

Try to make this a weekly ritual. Experiment with what works best for you. Try something new each week until you find yourself craving that reset each Friday night. It could be as simple as streaming a new movie while you enjoy a glass of wine or playing a game with family. Find something that you enjoy that takes your mind off work and allows you to focus on the relaxation you need.

Make JOY a priority

How much of your life are you planning?

Do you feel overwhelmed when you are unable to check off all your to-do’s?

Do you ever allow yourself to rest, relax, or have a lazy day?

Are you so focused on the outcome that you miss the joy in the present moment?

Instead of focusing on how much more you can do, focus on how you can make joy a priority. By moving into a state of allowing you free yourself up for joy to flow in.

Declutter your Mind

When we declutter our space we make room for imagination, creativity, and inspiration. A cluttered space can create a cluttered mind. The mind is easily distracted and will find it difficult to focus if there are things in the way. The same way we want to clear out space in our homes and in our life, we also need to find ways to declutter our mind.

Take a mental inventory and notice what thought patterns repeat or are on a loop. Ask yourself – does this serve me well? Is this helping in anyway? Is this making my life better? As Marie Kondo would ask, author of The Magic Art of Tidying Up – “does it spark joy?”

How can we assess our thought patterns and tune in to the clutter and find ways to let go? Letting go can be challenging. It’s easier said than done.

One of the ways to stop the thought loops that create clutter in your mind – is to recognize them. This is the first step – awareness. By becoming aware we step into the role of the observer, witnessing thoughts as they arise.

The second step is not to judge them – navigate through these thoughts and find out why they are coming up without the need to analyze.

The third step is to replace the thoughts – whenever you begin to notice a thought pattern – do your best to stop it and replace it with something else. A more positive thought. You could focus on what you do want, manifesting a clear mind or a better way of thinking.

Arrive in the Present Moment

How much of your day is absorbed into thinking? How much of the moment are you missing right in front of you? It’s easy to get lost in thought. It’s easy to get swept away with the processes the mind creates – dwelling on events from the past or creating scenarios in your head to “protect” you in the future.

Take a deep breath wherever you are.

Fill up your lungs and let the air expand you. As you breathe in imagine making a bit more space in your mind to break free of these thought patterns. Imagine releasing any stress or tension held in the body. Take notice of the space around you. Open your eyes and see all that fills up your environment. Notice the temperature in the room. Notice any sensations you can feel by touch. What do you hear at this moment?

When we arrive in the present moment, we take in all of our surroundings and senses. We dive deeper so that we can truly experience the present, because the present moment is the best present of all.

The Calmness Within

On our individualized journey’s one of the themes weaved throughout our lives is the search for calmness within. We all have the power to go there and the ability to access it, but most of us don’t know how to tap into the calmness within. Have you ever noticed that the first few minutes of a meditation session you may be experiencing all of the thoughts from throughout your day pouring into your mind and all of the feelings come to the surface? At this moment we realize we should be focusing on the breath and do our best to return our attention there, but the thoughts keep bubbling up.  Sometimes we may feel discouraged to get to that calm place when we have racing thoughts and can’t settle our minds. We so desperately seek that feeling of being calm and centered that we may avoid meditation in the first place or are eager to end the session early. The wonderful thing about meditation is it opens doors into your mind. If you begin your meditation practice with a different intention – just returning to the attention of your breath as often as you can think of it, then the more you practice this the easier it will become to let thoughts go. Be easy on yourself – allow the thoughts to flow effortlessly without trying to control them.

Set a timer during your meditation practice and let the first 5 minutes be a warm-up. Maybe you listen to some meditation music that allows the thoughts to come and go. It can be the same thing when you are trying to go to sleep – all of a sudden you are relaxing and your body is settling down that your mind thinks this is the perfect time to analyze and figure out issues from the day. Give your mind that time. Allow it to run free. Release the need to control and harness your thoughts – at least during that first 5 minute warm up of your meditation. Once the bell rings and your 5 minutes are up – see what thoughts are still there, maybe you need a longer warm-up such as 10 or 15 minutes. The more thoughts that keep coming up to the surface means the longer you need to meditate. When you are ready to move into your deeper meditation practice – you can do this through a guided meditation, a music meditation, or silently. Set your timer again, it could be for another 5 minutes, 10, 15, 20, you name it. See the difference you feel once you have completed your warm-up meditation and allowed your thoughts to flow freely through your mind. Notice how you activate that sense of calm in a deeper meditation.

Meditation is just one avenue to take to activate calmness within. There are many more that are covered throughout this book. At the end of the day – who doesn’t want to be free from suffering and pain? To have less stress, anxiety, and sadness? Who doesn’t want to live a better life and be happier? Through increased practice and awareness of mind-body practices such as yoga, meditation, breath-work, and mindfulness we can instill a sense of calm we all hope for. Life is a continuous development, and we are always changing and adapting. The calmness is already within you – find the key that accesses it.

Create Your Own Calm

Everyone has a different level of stress or anxiety in life. Sometimes it isn’t the stressor itself but the way we perceive that stress. One thing that anxiety has in common with most people it is the fear of the unknown. Anxiety is rooted in fear. 

Stress management is an essential self-care practice that many people don’t realize is needed on a regular basis. When you notice negative thought patterns appearing – take note of what works for you and what doesn’t. Become an observer of the self. Take a warm bath. Drink some relaxing tea. Read a book. Unwind with a massage. Give yourself a foot massage. Listen to some calming music. There are tons of stress management tools out there and can be as simple or complex as you need. Stress management is an aspect of self-care. Find what works for you and what doesn’t and create your own calm. Maybe you need to do yoga five times a week to feel balanced and centered, maybe you need 15 minutes of meditation every single morning. Maybe you haven’t found what works for you yet and that’s okay too – keep searching, keep exploring your inner world and find what external factors influence you in a positive way. There is a right formula for everyone – be your own scientist and experiment with different techniques, do your research, and learn from the results.

Sometimes the solution to our problems might not be as simple as journaling or practicing mindfulness, some issues are deeply rooted in our thought patterns, behaviors, and daily habits. Dive deeper into what your root causes of stress, anxiety, or depression are and explore how you can resolve these issues. If something in your life isn’t making you happy and no matter what self-care or stress management methods you use it doesn’t change – then the change may need to come from the problem itself. This is where self-study is this very aspect of creating your own calm because you can unravel the many layers of your mind to find out what is truly bothering you or causing you repeated struggles. At the end of the day you have options and can make the choices that lead you to feeling better.

Examples of creating your own calm:

Let it go – breathe deeply into your body to release stress and tension with breath work practice

Cultivate gratitude – make a daily list to generate feelings of positivity with what you already have in your life

Yin Yoga – tune inwards as you take slow meditative stretching yoga poses holding for long periods of time

Relaxation tea – find teas that have a calming effect such as Kava or chamomile

Meditate – bring your attention to the present moment with every breath

Make Your Happiness List

What makes you happy? What brings you true joy? Happiness is different for everyone. My recipe for happiness is completely different compared to someone else. Think about all of the things that make you happy. Write them down. Create a list. Just start jotting down whatever comes to mind. Refer to this list whenever you are feeling sad or blue or just in need of a friendly reminder of what makes you happy and cultivate gratitude for it.

For example:

• walking on the beach on a beautiful day

• going for a swim in a luxurious pool

• cuddling with my golden retriever on the couch

• watching a movie in the middle of a Saturday afternoon

• seeing my child laugh or smile

• enjoying a delicious meal

• sleeping in on a Sunday morning 

• buying new house plants or flowers and placing them around the home

• indulging in my favorite ice cream

Dealing with Challenging Situations

What is your coping mechanism when you are faced with a challenging situation? Maybe it’s something you don’t know how to deal with? Maybe it’s a crossroad in your life and you need to make a decision? Maybe you feel forced into a situation or uncomfortable? There could be something in your life making you unhappy but you don’t know what to do to change it.

Life will throw you curve balls. You may catch some of them, you may miss them, or they may hit you in the face. It’s how you deal with these challenges, how you overcome them, how you laugh off your fears and stand your ground that makes all of the difference. Find some empowerment through your challenges, let them help you grow, evolve, and find peace within yourself. The first step in dealing with a challenging situation is to become an observer.

Take a moment to close your eyes and imagine you are in the middle of a dessert on a dark night. There is a giant bolder in the middle of the dessert and you climb up to sit on the top as you gaze at the stars twinkling in the deep dark blue sky. As you sit here and contemplate your life imagine that sitting on this rock you are the observer of the thoughts in your mind. The dessert is your mind when it is clear of thoughts – empty all except for the bolder (the observer). When your mind is still and calm you can only sense the wind and feel the spaciousness of the night sky. When your thoughts are racing you see the tumble weeds floating by, sometimes they are coming right at you and sometimes pass you by. As you gaze out into the openness feel that sense of openness in your heart and your mind. As the observer on the rock you see these thoughts for what they are … just tumble weeds passing through. You recognize them but are comforted by the stability of the rock. As the observer you are not attached to the drifting thoughts. You just watch them come and go. You are not attached to the outcome of where they land. You are free.

When it comes to dealing with challenging situations see if you can place yourself on that rock. Observe what is coming and going. Observe what you can’t control. Find acceptance in this place within yourself. From moment to moment if you live your life in this way you will become more at peace, more comfortable with who you are, that no matter the challenge that arises you will have built an inner strength that is solid just like the rock. Know that the millions of thoughts you will have in a lifetime will just come and go. Some challenges may alter your life in a way that feels shaky. Come back to that center within you – the place that just sits quietly and observes thoughts, and from this place find a sense of grounding, of purpose, and of strength.